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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Updates

Oh man! I kept wanting to write this post, but have stopped so many times. I went to book club last night with a fabulous group of girls. We have been together going on 4 years. The last 9 months have been so turbulent for me, and anytime I can get away, I grab it. I had such a great time, but lately, anytime I have any fun, I am reminded of my dear daughter and our situation. Its weird. I always feel bad for enjoying myself. On the way home, I just started crying. I think the long days at home are getting to me. I catch myself worrying a lot and wondering about the future. Addie is precious you see, and I want her here forever. I want to see her laugh and play and live to 80. This whole situation seems surreal....still. Our situation isn't dire  you see, but to me, it is. I want to keep my girl here. I have blocked out most memories from Addie's first 2 months. No more surgeries, no more doctors...lets just grow and live and learn. I am tired of it all. I want to be normal. I want my old life back, but I want Addie in it. Friends, pray for the upcoming months. We have a heart cath in about 2 weeks and an October surgery. We need your prayers and positive thoughts.

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