32-33 weeks

I love you Sweet Adeline. "I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart." E.E. Cummings

We had our Presbytarian Dallas NICU tour today. I always try to put on a brave face when I go into these tours because I know at any moment I could break down. I didn't make it all the way through the tour without crying today. I think it always surprises the "tour guide" a bit, and then they start to feel sorry for me/us, and that is what I don't want. I think these tours are hard because I am forced to break out of the fantasy/this is not really happening world that I have been living in the couple of weeks between tours. The doctors use phrases and words like "complex congenital heart disease", "stable", "this must be heartbreaking", "very little bonding time", "emotional", "physiology", "pict lines",  "blue baby," etc. and I am reminded that this baby really is coming and we are about to head into something that is going to be really scary and hard. I keep willing this thing not to happen even though I know it is going to.

I will be 33 weeks tomorrow. This means that we will have a baby in 6 weeks or less. We had the perinatologist and OB appointments today also, and they both went really well. Addie is 4 lbs 14 oz right now, and if she keeps gaining as expected she will be about an 8 lb baby, which is really good news. The bigger she is, the bigger the target for the first surgery. Dr. Rinehart said that if I were to deliver now or anytime soon that Addie is over the minimum weight they like to operate on for heart babies. All good reports today.

In other news, the nesting FINALLY kicked in. We are getting Ellie's room ready for both girls and are also getting ready to do some work on our den area so that my mom can stay for the summer.

Ellie was 6 lbs 6 oz when she was born. We can only hope and pray Addie will be bigger!

With Ellie

With Addie