The Optimist

Throughout this whole deal I have tried to fill the role of the optimist. For every hard stat I tried to find a good one. For every sad story; I search out a happy one. I don't do this just merely to make myself feel better but more so just to lessen the dread that leaks into my thoughts now and then. But even in an optimist's world it rains sometimes. The half-full glass occasionally gets bumped and loses a little.


A pastor/good friend told me early on after we were given Adeline's diagnosis to re-read and remember the Old Testament story about Jacob (Genesis 32:22-32). In the story Jacob wrestles with a man; most consider the man to be God. And Jacob prevails and before letting the man go he asks for a blessing. I have had my share of wrestling with God over the past 4 months and I am sure it will continue. These wrestling matches are the rainy days. My optimism sometimes erodes and fails in these matches. My hips are strong but my positive attitude falters. But I try my best to not let go because I trust that God won't let go of me. In the midst of each match I have to realize there is a better purpose for all this that has not and may never be revealed to me. These matches are needed but never desired.

So on those rainy days I try to remember to wrestle hard and pray that some of that rain gets caught refilling my glass.