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Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Cath date

We have a date for Addie's cath. It is March 14 tentatively at 7:30 am. Of course, that can change if she gets sick or we get bumped, but my heart is preparing for that  day and time. This is definitely not nearly as big a deal as her open heart surgery, but it is a big deal to me. Addie hasn't had any procedures since her last surgery, and that seems like a million years ago. She is also really scared. She overheard my voicemail from Children's scheduling department and immediately started crying. This is when I feel like I am not an equipped parent to deal with any of this. Because, if I'm honest, I'm scared too. I am such an emotional person anyway that this just kills me. Seeing her confused and scared and nothing I say eases her worry. 

Today, I went to a new Bible study called A Mother's Heart. The woman that talked today was telling a story about her son that has a blood disorder. She mentioned he was in and out of the hospital and she often recited parts of Psalm 139 during those times: 

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

I remember so many times reading those verses myself during the many storms we have endured. I'm not ready for all of this. I never have been. Addie is strong and brave, and I'm praying I can be both of those things for her as we prepare for this next chapter. 

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